When it comes to addiction and bondage, what we should be dealing with is not the act of sin, as those are just the symptoms of sin. What we should go for is the root of sin, which is condemnation, and the only cure for condemnation is Grace! Meaning, what you should be focusing on is not quitting the habit but receiving Grace instead, and be at rest, knowing how Christ has already made you blameless through His Finished Work. In Grace, you have dominion over sin! So even when you fall short, be reminded of your everlasting righteousness in Christ and your free access to His Grace! Receive that forgiveness for yourself (God sees no wrong in you!) and His unconditional acceptance of you! Grace is the way we exit and the only way we enter into His abundant freedom. When we come to the end of ourselves, the life of Christ begins!
You may indulge in these because it makes you feel good. But you may feel bad for doing what you do. Nobody else may know what you are going through in the dark, but God knows what you are exactly going through. And He is not ashamed of you. Instead, He embraces you. He loves you. Jesus loves you.
You are not defined by what you consume. Eg. Pornography.
Don’t look to the world to tell you who you really are. They know nothing compared to what God knows about you and His plans for you.
What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to. — 1 John 3:1 (MSG)
You are defined by who God called or predestined you to be - His beloved precious Child. You are defined by His Love. You are His Love, made in His image. You are full of light and untinted love. It is Jesus who justified and qualified you to be so.
Receive this gift of His love and acceptance today. Be awaken to your new identity in Christ.
That is who you truly are, a wonderful creation created to be loved by God.
You may feel dirty but you are not. You may like it dirty but you deserve better.
You may feel ashamed or even glorify what you do, but someday if you change your mind, it won’t be too late. When that day comes, I hope you will remember one name and that is Jesus, who will be able to offer you unconditional grace and acceptance to liberate you from this bondage.
Sex is about love. Sex is not just for self-gratification. Sex is an intimate expression of love. Sex is beautiful, not dirty. Sex is passionate, not violent. Sex is vulnerability, not violation.
You deserve better sex than what porn can give you. You deserve a wholesome sex in a wholesome marriage. You deserve tangible and loving sex, not through the screen but with a person who truly loves you and you truly love the person. You deserve wholeness, not brokenness. And Jesus can make your mind, body, soul, whole again. He can restore your life with His life. You can be free, if you want to be. Jesus is your freedom, your key to a glorious future.
Simply stated, sex is a powerful symbol that points to the fulfillment of a covenant. When a husband and wife have sex, they testify to their own covenant, and also point to the time when the Christ the Bridegroom and His Bride will come together in fulfillment of the New Covenant.
The covenant comes first. When our physical union with Christ takes place, the covenant will be fulfilled. Union is the point of consummation—the climax. The covenant is the essential context. If there were no covenant, there would be no union. Christ’s covenant is what makes a relationship with Him possible. That’s why the Bible says no sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of a marriage covenant violates the meaning of sex. It goes against the bigger truth that sex is supposed to symbolize.
Because it’s not a duty but an experession, it’s not an obligation but a selfless desire to fill the receiver with the giver. When we know what love truly is, it changes the way we express ourselves, the way we give and the way we love.
What’s the first thing you think about when the topic of sex comes up?
In my experience as a pastor, people tend to consider sex in one of three ways: 1) as a god to be worshiped, 2) as something gross that’s shameful to discuss, or 3) as a glorious gift from God for a husband and wife to enjoy.
In our book, Real Marriage, Grace and I share that the Bible teaches that sex is a gift from God that should be stewarded and enjoyed by a husband and wife in such a way that is glorious to him and good for our marriages. As a gift from God to married couples, Scripture shows us how sex provides six glorious benefits.
1. Sex Is for Pleasure
Throughout the most erotic book in the Bible, the Song of Songs, children are never mentioned, as the primary focus of the book is simply marital passion and pleasure.
2. Sex Is for Creating Children
While sex isn’t solely for procreation, children are repeatedly considered a blessing throughout Scripture (Psalm 127:3–5). God created sex for a husband and wife to conceive children at their moment of deepest connection (Genesis 1:28).
3. Sex is for oneness (Genesis 2:4)
Dr. Stephen Arterburn’s New Life ministries says,
Sexual pleasure is one of the most intense human experiences. Physically speaking, when a man or woman reaches sexual excitement, nerve endings release a chemical into the brain called “opioid.” “Opioid” means opium-like and is a good description of the power of this chemical. Apart from a heroin-induced experience, nothing is more physically pleasurable than sex. This is a wonderful thing in a committed marriage relationship, because it helps to bond two people together and bring joy to living together and building a relationship.
A married couple with a free and frequent sex life are literally bonded together as one, physically and chemically, by God’s design. This oneness is expressed in such things as having one last name, living in one house, sleeping in one bed, attending one church, sharing one bank account, and worshiping one God.
4. Sex Is for Knowledge
In the act of sex and the related intimacy that surrounds it, a couple learns to knoweach other in a way that they are not known by anyone else (Genesis 4:1). This sacred and experiential knowledge means that a married couple has an intimacy and connection that are not only exclusive but also unprecedented in all their other relationships.
5. Sex Is for Protection
While there is no excuse for sexual sin, there are factors that can increase the temptation for sexual sin. Perhaps chief among them is a marriage that at least one of the people is sexually dissatisfied. If one person feels sexually denied and discouraged, it increases the temptation to wander outside the marriage forsexual satisfaction or remain sexually pure but emotionally bitter. But free and frequent sex within marriage helps safeguard and protect the marriage from such sins as bitterness, adultery, pornography, and secret masturbation (1 Corinthians 7:2–5).
6. Sex Is for Comfort
There are seasons in life when nothing can be said or done to comfort a suffering spouse. In those moments it is the ministry of touch that allows us to connect with our spouses in a way that lovingly serves them and binds us together in the suffering (2 Samuel 12:24).
We knew a couple who suffered the death of their young child. They were understandably devastated. The husband was unsure what to say or do to comfort his grieving wife, and so he simply asked what she needed. She told him that she wanted to go away for a few days to a quiet bed and breakfast, lie together, visit, pray, weep, and make love so that she did not feel alone in any way. They reported that being able to physically comfort each other at that time was a vital part of their healing and grieving process.
My prayer
It is our prayer that you and your spouse would see sex as a gift from God. A gift to be stewarded. A gift to be guarded. A gift to be enjoyed. And a gift to be shared together for God’s glory and your good.
Longingness for intimacy - Masturbation and Pornography
For the past few weeks, God has been opening my eyes to the truth about our human need for the human touch and affection. Kars confirmed this with me too as he shared a testimony of another brother who had been involved in sexual relationships out of marriage. It all boils down to our thirst for intimacy. And yes even for the guys, it’s not just the raging hormones, it’s also the cause of a broken and malnutrioned soul that is starving for God’s love. That same night talking to Kars, he shared also an important truth about myself and relationships- he said that I am loved for who I am, my presence and being established in the identity of Christ is enough for him. There’s no need to get into an exhausting-self-giving-sacrificial-servitude just to maintain my relationship with the people I love, or at least for him. That overwhelmingly bright revelation of God’s love in him and through him, broke off all my chains the moment I heard it. It was definitely a God-moment because it came out of the blue and it was what I needed to hear. Since then every time I have that ‘funny’ feeling creeping into my body, I just have to be reminded of God’s extravagant love and His precious favor.
The lure and consumption of pornography and masturbation arise from the lack of intimacy in our soul with our Creator. You may have received Jesus as your Savior and if you are still drawn to pornography, your breakthrough is to experience Jesus as the intimate lover of your soul. The bible suggests us to marry our partner lest we are overwhelmed by the need for one another’s intimacy. As singles, it’s a reminder that hey you are already married to Jesus! You are free to be passionate and intimate with your Savior! Each time I had the urge to do it, the Holy Spirit would remind me that I am loved, deeply loved by God and many other beloveds who loves me just the way I am. And that thought sedates me instantly lol and puts me to sleep right away without masturbating myself to sleep.
Your Shepherd who understands your need and desire for intimacy which is why He is now living on the inside of you. The flesh is drawn to counterfeit affection of lust because it’s not feeding on the wholesomeness of God’s love.
Watching pornography is a negative act, it’s a self-empowerment to satisfy self, but that lustful self is not who you are. It’s like you may eat alot of chocolates but you are not made of chocolate. You are God’s Child, who simply need more love and grace to understand that you are created to be filled with God’s love. It’s only when you have this wholesome revelation of God’s love, only then we can honour our bodies as God’s temple. It’s His temple for His Holy Spirit of love. Revelations are like the cleaning agents for our mind. They are the bright spot lights that shines away the darkness. So have a fresh revelation of God’s love today. You are His Beloved. Know Him as your Abba, and the Author of Love. Bask and refresh yourself in His love.
A good way to start is to practice His presence - reading the Word, reading books about God’s love, listening to sermons, playing youtube worship songs, fellowshipping with the other beloveds. You are intimately loved.
I was asking the Lord this morning if masturbation a sin..and thank God He didn’t struck me with lightning and brimestones as the answer lol.
He just answered me gently, just as breathing isn’t a sin, but when you inhale and exhale smoke, smoking is act of sin - destructive to our health, it is expensive and it’s a form of addiction/bondage. So likewise when we masturbate in solo, we are inhaling and exhaling lust. I’ve tested myself and yes there’s no way you can masturbate alone without the motivation of lust. However when you are masturbating with your spouse, it’s bedroom technique that heightens one’s sexual enjoyment prior or after the sexual intercourse.
We all have the God-given ability and wisdom to celebrate our sexuality with our spouse. Masturbation is just one of the many ways. Every good thing is from the Lord and it’s surely a blessing for one’s marriage to be sexually active and creative.
So why I’m sharing this is because I have always wanted to share my testimonials..and I believe this is a good way to share and unveil one of the warfare I had faced before and after I came to Christ. And learning to deal with my sexual drive used to be a struggle because I didn’t know about the relentless truth of God’s unmerited grace.
What gave me the courage to write this, is firstly knowing that I’m born again, my old sinful law-keeping spirit man is dead and dead forever because it is now Christ who lives in me and He is living through me. It’s no longer ‘I’ who live because my flesh is now no more than a glorious earthen vessel that contains an abundance of glory of His grace. Hence im no longer yoked with the spirit of lust but with the new Spirit of Christ, alone. Secondly, there’s no condemnation in Christ and His grace is all sufficient for me; where sin abounds, His grace abounds much more! Grace upon grace :)
If it wasn’t for God’s grace, His mercy and compassion, I would not have the revelation nor courage to be writing this post. In faith I declare, this post is Spirit-led by His anointing alone that teaches us all things.
Because of my past wayward ways, I understood how the woman of Samaria felt, how the prostitutes felt, I knew how destructive the filth of lust is. And if you been through something similar to sexual oppression/bondages, I want you to know it is okay and God loves you still as much as He loves Jesus :) He wants to set you free and the truth of His grace, His Jesus, our Jesus, will set you free :) God does not see a tint of dirt on you because all He sees is Jesus’s holiness, Jesus’s purity in you. He is our Groom, our Redeemer, your Husband and Lover of your soul. Every condemnation and curse has been broken at the foot of the cross, His sacrifice has removed the wrath of God and the stronghold of the devil’s deceits. You are not condemned but highly favored, deeply loved and forever blessed :)
I used to deal with condemnation in many emotional aspects and self-masturbation used to be a hot spot for self-condemnation. I used to feel condemn each time I masturbated because I didn’t know how else to release that surplus sexual energy. And masturbation used to be my way of lulling myself to sleep and most often, to momentarily relieve my depression till I fell asleep.
I was so sexually fertile that I explored solo-nudity photography, solo-clubbing adventures and of course solo-masturbation with the aid of pornography. I was creative and passionate about my sexual drive because I thought that was who I am, all that I am, I thought that I’m a gift to all mankind being able to execute my sexual ego (ha!). It all started when I was young as 5 or 6 years old. Masturbation was an innate ability, nobody taught me how to do it and certainly nobody taught me how to stop. Way before I started menstruating, I was easily aroused by sexually provocative images seen on TV and even in picture books - a scene where Pocahontas was kissing her Englishman. Yes everything was done solo, I was dealing with all the darkness in the dark, darkness upon darkness; only those who knew me sexually, knew that hidden side of me.
Hence I believe by bringing this issue to light, light upon light, grace upon grace, by being transparent will help just not myself but many others too who are trying to gain new insights on this highly tabooed topic, from the perspective of His grace.
It’s one thing to be delivered from demonic oppression, it’s another to be set free with God’s grace. It’s His grace that brings about EVERLASTING transformation. I had went for healing/deliverance services more than once but each time I was prayed for, I didn’t stay free for long. I didn’t have the revelation of His grace. My mind was not renewed by His grace. My heart was not established by His grace. My soul was not set free by the knowledge (experiential accounts) of His grace. There was so much self-effort involved that I missed out on the dynamite power of His grace. As much as we need liberty in our spirit, we need to receive His constant supply of grace to keep our souls healthy. Our Spirit man is saved but not our flesh. We have yet to receive our new heavenly body till we get to heaven. Hence our flesh needs to be watered daily by the Holy Spirit that is abiding in us.
It is after all the goodness of God that leads one to the transformation of mind (repentance). Quoting from Pastor Prince, usually the areas where the devil attacks, is the very same area God will use and has destined to be so, before the foundations of the world, that He will be exalted and glorified in those areas. And for this post - it’s in the area of our sexuality.
Therefore to deal with the excessive sexual drive and the act of masturbation, we need to know the source and root of it all. We need to know scriptually, what is God’s purpose for sex and why sex. Because we are called to be a blessing, we are called to be blessed - to be fruitful and multiply. Therefore God has given us reproduction organs and an awesome sex drive to enjoy the act of reproduction. God didn’t just give us the ability to conceive, but He complemented our sexual organs with sexual senses to enjoy the process! This is how good our God is :)
However I do stand firmly on the grounds of sex-only-after-marriage; not even for your fiance or the night before the big day, but only after marriage. And again quoting from Pastor Prince, the best sex is made within God-ordained, God-approved safe boundaries of a blessed marriage. I gave a loud amen when he said that lol. If God has designed sex to be union of a married couple, clearly He has His wise reasons for that. It’s not because we as Christians are conservative freaks that we reserve our virginity for marriage but because we are given His Godly wisdom to do so!
For practical health reasons, it’s to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexual diseases. For relationship reasons, it’s to focus our individual growth in the Lord while getting to know each other inside out with a genuine interest to appreciate the unique wiring which God has given to each of us. It’s to love one another, serve and guard one another as unto God, solely by the empowerment of His spirit and not the ruling of the flesh. The season of courtship is also part of our daily development with the Lord and our relationships are meant to glorify God alone.
For spiritual reasons, it all boils down to the spirit of condemnation. Sex can bind two souls, two minds, two hearts as one. Hence if we are not ready for lifetime bond, it would become a burden too much for our souls to bear, it can easily destroy the relationship as soon as the sex ends and our souls would become confused because of the reversal effects of worldly sex. Sex is suppose to rekindle unity and intimacy. But when sex is done in a worldly way, out of the context of marriage, just as the devil had perversed God’s creation in extreme reverse, so will pre-marital sex - causing separation, confusion and condemnation in the relationship. I know that because of my personal experiences - one can become increasingly demanding of their partner because of the soul-tie through sex. Pre-marital sex can weigh down the relationship and it can load unwanted burden on your partner if he/she isn’t ready to love you the way God loves us.
Love endorsed by the limited knowledge of man can cause us to do crazy things but God’s love is greater. His love which we are rooted in, can establish an exceedingly beautiful relationship that is far better than what the world can offer.
Never underestimate the power of His love nor love itself, the Spirit of Agape Love. It is the same Spirit of love that nailed Jesus on the cross. It is the same Spirit that rose Jesus from the grave thus defeating death. Love can empower us to do great things because God is love, God Himself has done ALL things through His love for us. God glories in love for God so LOVED the world, He gave His only begotten Son.
Sex has been ordained by God as a gift to His Beloveds, to be gloriously interwined as one flesh. Sex is suppose to be a celebration of victory! Just read through the Book of Solomon, sex is suppose to be pure, romantic and glorious!
It is by the grace of God, I’m blessed with a high sex drive. I say it’s a blessing because the bible says every good thing comes from the Lord! It will be a blessing to my spouse (God bless that man lol), my marriage and to the world population too! I believe God has blessed each of us a high sex drive, because He wants to bless my marriage, my relationship and my husband.
So coming back to the issue of self-masturbation..if you would like to reserve not just sex but your mind-blowing orgasms for marriage.. know this - it’s by the grace of God you are saved, by the grace of God you are free and made forever righteous! Just as our salvation is an unmerited favor, so is our holiness, our purity :) You are holy because of Jesus! You are forgiven of ALL sins because of Jesus! You are free because of Jesus! It’s not by our performance that we are holy but by Jesus’s performance and His holiness which we inherit, we become holy :) Holiness is a fruit of His righteousness in us :) You don’t have to work your way to holiness . You don’t have to rely on your limited strength to resist temptations but simply rely on His grace! You are righteous, you are given the right to be empowered by the Spirit so use that gift! Use His gift of righteousness! Receive His grace to help you overcome your temptations. You are set free, separated forever from the yoke of sin and forever yoked with God. You are no longer under the law for by His grace, you have dominance over sin!
God wants to heal YOU :) The devil’s thoughts are not your thoughts, you are born again with the mind of Christ! :D
Be driven by His Spirit. Allow His Spirit to take over your flesh. Live by His Spirit, allow Jesus to live through you :) Let your soul be at rest and let His Spirit take dominion. We are constantly yearning to express the dynamic power of His love in us and it’s important to allow His Spirit to do the job for us :) Allow His Spirit to show us, to guide us of how our soul and body should express the immense glory God has bestowed upon each of us. For His ways are higher than our ways, for everything is established by His grace, let us live by His grace, His Spirit :)
And if you had engaged in pre-marital sex, please rest assured that we are all NEW creations through Christ Jesus. You are fully forgiven, you are fully redeemed and fully restored with a brand new life. You are blessed with a new spirit, to grace through life in a supernatural way. God makes all things new! He will do a new work in your heart and your relationships :) God is faithful to bless you with a wonderful spouse who is full of His Spirit, full of His love, who will love you for who you are, regardless of your past, because there is no condemnation in the body of Christ! And because it’s His dream that we partake in His love and His glorious plan of community-building, by loving one another and by this, the world will know we are His children :)
I really hope my sharing has helped ya :) I really hope you are blessed and encouraged :) Please feel free to email me at maddyeline@gmail.com if you are inspired to share experiences/concerns/questions (your identity will be kept confidential) and I am more than happy to hear from you :) Feel free to reblog this post too!
Have a blessed time with the Lord :) God loves you and I love you too!
So lets look as this subject, and ill tell you why im disgusted, So tonight looks like sex will be the topic of discussion. Now sex isn’t evil, for marriage is why God made it, But I know you like come on Jeff, that’s too outdated. This is 2011 bro, we do it for recreation, Hey this is even college, so we do it while you’re wasted. lets look into that logic lets pop off the seal, And lets question something we thought is already a done deal, For example take a rape victim and once its revealed When her bruises go away is she totally healed? I mean the damage is lasting, you can see it in her eyes, If it was just abused recreation, why did it ruin her life? I mean if sex is just for fun then why on us does it take such a toll, Maybe its because You don’t have sex with a body, you have sex with a soul.
That means for me there aint no premarital lovin, And it aint just because I don’t want a baby in the oven, Its because I’m staying pure until the day that I’m a husband. but see this wasn’t always me that’s guarantee, so lets go back and see who I used to be. Growing up, I never learned how to treat a lady If I learned anything from my dad, it was leave the mom, ditch the baby. I don’t say that to get sympathy, I say that to be real, Because according to stats, about 40% of you know how that feels. So I let the tv show me, what the music already told me, No dad at home, so I let mtv mold me. And they sold me, so my life revolved around what girl I could get next, My whole life revolved around this girl name sex. Shoot I gotta confess Id get at her on text, But it seems the longer we dated, the bigger the mess But see ive been there, where my girlfriend was late on that time of the month, If you’ve been there too, you know what I mean when I say my heart sunk. I started to justify abortion, I would butter it up But they don’t have condoms for sin, you cant just cover it up. I didn’t have a baby, thankfully Its funny how I was pro-life, until it happened to me. So dudes think twice before you desire her just cuz she’s hot, Because your body makes a promise whether you do or not.
Sorry I digress, lets get back to the topic, How there are guys in here who pressure her even when she says stop it. Youre not a man, youre just a boy who can shave and you put on a good cover, Cuz if you don’t respect her when she says no, you certainly don’t love her. So start studying her heart, and stop studying her booty, Or maybe invest the same amount of time in her, that you do in call of duty I mean whats make you think you have the right to get a girl and get naughty? you should have to touch her heart and her mind first before you ever touch her body Because she longs to be accepted, she longs to be loved, So she gives herself up to another guys lust, it feels good at first, and then she gets bitter, Cuz the promises of satisfaction it never delivers, See shes like man I don’t want to, its just too tempting, So she keeps opening up the present, just to find its empty. And then she starts to get confused, Because she keeps getting rejected by all these dudes, They tell her on scale of 10 shes a two, But that aint true, if she only knew, That Jesus, he loves and accepts us, Even when we don’t deserve it, he never rejects us, He heals us from that sin totally infects us, He does what condoms cant, he emotionally protect us. I know some of you like “this guys wack” and you gunna wanna indict me, But we gotta think rightly, so ill ask politely, can we really say this isn’t true even slightly? Touch the forbidden fruit, just to realize its poison ivy Now we’re numb and we’re itching, and jacked up our psyche You don’t think you just do it, like your name was nike Not realizing the consequences of sin, is oh so pricey
So this last story is for those who think they’re too dirty This last story, its for those who think they’re unworthy. Read John chapter 8, the woman caught in adultery, Religious leaders throw her naked in the temple, while she yells “Don’t murder me” “Jesus! The law commands us to stone this woman!” you hear the hate in their tone, Jesus pauses and then says, “whoever is without sin, you can cast the first stone” Can you imagine the sound? Silence all around, You hear footsteps walk away, you hear stones hit the ground. Jesus kneels down, the woman thought it was her demise, He lifts up her face, you see the grace in his eyes, I don’t condemn you, go and sin no more, I love and accept you, mercy is yours. If you’re anything like me you’re like no it cant be, no I cant see, Why would he die for me? Then I saw the scene, where I was redeemed He reached out and touched me, and said Jeff you’re free, Instantly I was wearing the brightest robe id ever seen, Perfectly spotless, perfectly clean! So bright in fact, I thought id go blind, I said who’s is this? He said “actually its mine” So stop and think before you eat what society feeds us, Come follow the King, his name is Jesus.
